Blood Line
by Ember411
Summary: After 5X17 when Nora is in the pipeline. All she wanted to do was make her Dad proud of her. Rated T/Warning: Swearing, mentions of self-harm, self-harm, sexual orientation insults.
1. Guilt

**For the sake of this story, _all_ of Nora's powers are drained in the pipeline.**

Here she sat. Alone. No sound but her own tears. The only music she could made were her sobs. Not the kind that she had when she cut her knee at a child nor the kind she had on her finger from the edge of a paper. Not the cry of someone who learned of someone in their personal live, someone they love deeply and care deeply for. It was the cry of someone who did the hurting. Stabbing her family—her dad. The person she never wanted to let down the most.

All she wanted was him. She wanted him in her life. She wanted him to be proud of her. She never had that support growing up as her Mom had kept her from her own powers. The same she shared with her Dad. They matched in blood and powers. All she craved and desired was his love and making him proud that she was his daughter.

Eobard Thawne said that he'd help her with that. He promised her that she'd get that from her Dad. Thawne promised her. So long as she carried out his plans, nothing bad would happen and Barry would become proud of her.

Nora scooted back so her back was against the power damping wall. Still sobbing she mumbled out, "Fuck me." Looking at the sky as if someone were to come down and save her from this cell.

She should had said something earlier. Earlier would had been better. After traveling in time with her Dad to get the different parts to defeat Cicada, when she encountered Thawne for (truthfully, millionth time) but first him in the past (just as his first time meeting her). She should had said something. But she didn't. She saw the anger in her Dad. She was afraid of telling him that she was working with the man who murdered her grandmother. Her namesake.

Today's anger was more violent than what she saw the anger in her Dad's eyes after the traveling. Today's anger was mixed with pain, fury, aggression, aggravation, bitterness . Nora stood on the teeter-totter; She expected this and than did not expect this reaction. She had no idea he's lock her in this...power damping closet.

She cried hysterically. She couldn't breathe. She held herself close like a fetus in her mother's womb. A baby soothing herself.

**X**

She lost track of time. Her cell phone from her back pocket had died. Last time she had check her phone right before the battery died it read 5:09 PM. At that point, Nora had been in here for two hours. She guessed it had to be longer. Maybe night now.

A light buzzed. Some part of the wall opened and released a cafeteria style tray with a PBJ sandwich, milk, water and an apple. The tray was placed on the ground and the wall instantly closed up again.

She wasn't hungry.

She was too depressed with herself. Exasperated at herself. She fucked up. She completely fucked up.

"Why? Why? WHY? _**WHY!?**_" She shouted at herself. "**_WHY!?_**" She screamed again. She took her shoe off at threw it, letting it hit her food and liquids. That wasn't enough to fill her up. Nora stood with rage and began kicking her sock covered foot against the cell. **_"WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!_**" She could had woken the dead with that last scream. Her powerless foot kicking as fast as it could, Nora cared less about her toes feeling broken.

She's broken.

**S**

She rocked in her own puddle of tears. She did all this pain. She caused all that pain in her Daddy. She loved her Daddy, more than anything or anyone in the world. Probably a bias thought since she had no memories of him ever from her young duckling age.

She's going to die in here, she thought. She's going to die in here. In the one place she fucking hates for two reasons.

**N**

Midnight. Or so it felt like. Eight hours of this misery and pain. She hadn't stopped sobbing for what felt like decades in her body. She felt like her voice was lost.

Call her insane but being here in not just reminded her of the pain she put on her family. But sort of put her back into another mind set. One that she is still currently locked inside but also not locked. Like, inside of the closet but the door is unlocked and ready to open in any second.

That pain hurts too. Just as much as the lies and secret she kept. It beat her every day. If there is one thing that is the same in both this time and her time is that people's views on sexuality is equal. Half unacceptable and half acceptable. Of the acceptable half, only half speak or show out in public about it. The second half prefer to keep silent about to. To "not draw eyes" as her one middle school teacher explained it to a fellow teacher.

A few students had ideas that Nora "wasn't normal" in some way. They knew her as the girl whose dad died when she was too little to remember and the girl who enjoys science. Most girls loved makeup, Nora enjoyed learning the chemistry behind how the products are made (and placing it on too sometimes). Nora was the first to jump into mud puddles to look for warms. Nora was the one to go outside after a rainy hour to explore bugs and insects.

The students later used their innocent thoughts into negativity. They bullied her. Teased her. Often, most of them teased her about her mom and family. **"Your dad learned your mom's a lesbian . That's why he left you and your fucking lesbian mother, you fucking dy—" **Nora blocked out that word. Words like that one, they hurt. She had a bad relationship with her working mom so she never told her mom about this. Hell, even if they were close she probably still wouldn't tell!

That pain she had in middle school and high school stabbed her heart. Just as much as her secret.

**O**

Hand trembling violently as hot tears traced down the paths of the old tears. She had thrown her jacket off and tossed it across the room in a fit of range some time ago. A shine of silver dropped from one of her pockets. She crawled over gently like a toddler exploring and picked up the item. An item she hadn't seen in a couple of years. Not this one specifically, but just one in general.

Nora slid back to her previous position. Sniffling hard as she wiped the tears away. It was a blur but she knew what this was.

A sign from the universe?

She deserves it. Right?

The pain she caused her family. The pain they have now because of her. That pains her. Being inside of this closet-wannabe created those middle school and high school memories. Dark, dark memories.

Her scientific brain had made of these. But speedster edition. Her scientific brain and the technology of her time, one regular would take three weeks to heal fully whereas a non-speedster's would take a week to a few weeks depending on the pressure.

Ten minutes of staring at the silver beauty and figuring that her body wouldn't heal as fast due to the power of the pipeline, Nora retraced the steps that she had taken from age eleven to twenty-one. She stopped for five years because she had met Thawne and learned of her true bloodline. She ripped out the power damping chip and for five years did her own training. Did it fail? Sure, often. But she tried.

Saving people saved her. But now she's here. Saving nobody. Not her family, her dad, Thawne in a way. No one's blood to save.

**R**

Following morning Barry was the first to go down to the pipeline. All night Team Flash learned the truth. Why Nora had lied and kept this secret from them. It hurt and will always hurt, but Barry seemed to get a sense of some understanding of his daughter now.

He walked into her pipeline and opened the first doorway. Nora's sleeping figure was facing away from the door. Barry opened the door. "Nora?" He called out. No response. "Nora?" He began stepping towards her. Barry sat on his kneecaps and gently rubbed her to wake her. "Nora? It's dad."

No response. But Barry noticed she was breathing slowly. Off slowly. He shook her again but had nothing. He shook her a bit rougher. Nothing. "Nora." He said again. He turned her over.

Blood. Lots of it.

**A**

Iris and Barry sat in the chairs waiting for Nora to wake up. Caitlin had manage to stop the bleeding and transfer some of Barry's blood into Nora's. Just in time too, as Caitlin explained. "She had to been bleeding for a couple of hours. If you hadn't found her in another hour it might had been too late."

Her body was healing as quickly as it could. But taking some time due to the amount of blood loss. No more than an hour at least, they expected.

So far it had been forty minutes.

"It's my fault." Barry said, not taking his eyes off of Nora. He avoided looking at the bandages on her wrists and arms. He avoided thinking about the bandages around her inner thighs, stomach and around her chest. "It's all my fault."

Iris held his hand. "No, it's not."

"I put her in the pipeline, Iris."

"You were mad. We were all mad at her for lying to us." She insisted. "But what happened in that pipeline is not your fault. You and I and everyone else had no idea she would do this. She never showed any sign of doing this to herself before or that she currently was, if she was."

Barry shook his head. He knew that but still. He. Put. Her. In. There. Nora felt...something. Barry couldn't even imagine what was going in her mind. Guilt likely. But this came from her guilt?

Barry touched her hand in his. They were felt fragile. So soft and tiny compared to his own. He felt like he was holding a literal baby hand. She is his baby. Even at twenty-six, she is his baby girl. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

Nora stirred awake. She felt achy. She had no memory of the past few hours. Just so much crying. Her eyes adjusted to the lights but she could see the silhouettes of her parents. "Mom?" Her frail voice cracked.

Iris kissed her forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"Achy." She replied. "Why do I feel like that?"

"You don't remember anything?"

"Just dad being...pissed. Like...fucking pissed." Oh no, here they come again. Her face crunched up. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry!" She cried, now looking at Barry. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry!"

Barry embraced gingerly. Rocking her softly, his hand rubbed the back of her head fatherly. "It's okay, it's okay." He reassuringly kissed the top of her head. "You're okay."

Nora had no clue what his meaning of 'you're okay' meant. She only thought of it as being about the secret and lies she kept from him. She relaxed in his arms. Feeling somewhat better that he was accepting of her again.


	2. Video

**Well a few of you wanted a second chapter, so I decided to add another chapter.**

**Two more chapters after this and the story will be done.**

* * *

A meta had attacked CCPD and the CCH both at the same time. While Ralph and Cisco went to the police department, Frost and Barry went to the hospital. It hurt Barry and Iris to leave Nora alone with what had just happened but she was safe now and they needed to save others.

Nora had fallen asleep again for five minutes before waking up to hearing someone walk into the room. It was Sherloque. A deep hatred entered her heart and Nora instantly turned her face away from the big mouth.

"Nora, you feeling better?" He asked her.

"Big mouth Sherloque."

"It's Sherloque."

"It's 'Sure I'll Loque my big mouth." She snapped. "I hate you! I was going to tell them but _YOU_ had to tell them, big mouth!" She shouted. Nora glared at him with fire dancing in the center of her pupil. She glared at the face of someone who told her secret. She just needed the words to tell them and struggled to find the words and this this '_The Tales of HR Wells'_ wannabe had to take the words straight out of her mouth and stab her family.

She was the one who needed to stab them.

Sherloque ignored her words and instead sat in the chair next to her. "I have told many lies to many wives—"

"No shit they divorced you."

"You were working with the man who murdered your grandmother just so your father could get speed powers—"

"To help him get him in the future. Blah, blah, blah." Nora rolled her eyes. For someone close to thirty, she did act like a teenager still. "You had no right to tell them that. It was MINE you asshole."

"Excuse me?"

"It was MINE you asshole." She repeated. "My story to tell, HR Wells Wannabe."

"HR Who?"

Nora rolled her eyes again. "Imagine Harry but a positive bubble and shway better."

Sherloque was about to say something when his devised beeped. One of the ex's was contacting him. He excused himself to answer the call.

Nora waited until he was gone to go see how she got here. Her parents were busy and, frankly, probably still pissed at her. But she knew one way to get her answer.

* * *

Nora entered the time vault and walked up to the front wall. A digital face of a woman came up. "Good morning, Nora West-Allen. How may I help you?"

"Gideon, can you pull up a video of me in the pipeline from when I was put in there yesterday to when I got out?"

"Right away. Nora West-Allen."

Nora watched the horrific scene play. Her dad putting her in the pipeline. That killed her all over again. She asked Gideon to speed up the video a little bit. It played a bit faster and right around the two hour mark, she saw herself screaming and kicking her foot against the wall; she was pulling on her own hair as she kicked her foot against the wall and screamed. That was when she noticed the food on the floor.

"Maybe I got hungry and they found out. But how would I be in pain?"

The video kept playing on the speed it was on. She was just rocking herself and screaming as she continued sobbing. How did she even make that much water works?

At the mark where it read it was three in the morning Nora saw the recording of her throwing her jacket and then looking at something on the ground. "Slow the video" and it did, at a slow pace. She studied herself study the item. She peered closer as she watched herself grab something from the floor. Video Nora sat back against the wall and looked at the item. Real Nora leaned in and inspected the item.

She saw what it was. "Oh shit." She muttered.

In a matter of some time the video showed Nora, still crying, placing the sharp object to the skin of her wrist. Pressed down.

"Gideon, speed up the video until Dad walked into the pipeline."

"Of course, Nora."

The video began to speed up.

Nora felt her heart shatter as her eyes grew large. Not shway . Nora saw herself cutting her wrists, arms, cutting the fabric of her pants to cut her inner thighs, her stomach and around her breasts.

The video showed her bleeding out. She stopped at some point, probably an hour after she started she figured, and adjust herself into the middle so she laid dead center of the cell. She laid down and began falling asleep.

The video speeded up until it slowed down to normal speed. Nora watched as her Dad innocently walked into the pipeline. He called for her but she obviously didn't response. Barry walked into the cell and tried to wake her again. Her Dad turned her over and saw the blood stains on her arms, shirt and on the floor. In half a second, Nora and her Dad were no longer in the cell.

"Gideon, was I saying anything in the pipeline? If yes, what did I say?"

Gideon repeated the words.

Nora felt her face go pale.

She's gotta go home. Her true home.


	3. Diary

**Guys! Sorry for the long, long chapter!**

**So this has flashbacks to Nora's middle school days, and then some are just diary ****entries**

**And anyone who has read some past Flash stories of mine know that I love HR. So I kept his memory alive in this chapter.**

* * *

Nora was glad to have her speed back. She ran to the apartment she stayed in with her parents for the time she was here. She had been able to find affordable thrift store clothes with the little cash she had on her from the future. Eventually there was a day where she, Mama Cecile and Jenna were able to get out to get more clothes.

Those would go to donation in the future. She couldn't bare to wear a thing from this timeline. The memories it would bring.

Nora changed out of her current clothes and threw on her Oregon Trail t-shirt and black jeans with her aunt Caitlin's choker necklace. The only item she would bring and keep was her jacket because it was totally shway. Nora packed up everything and changed into her new clothes within a matter of five seconds. She held the stuff in her hand and looked around the room one more time.

"See you in a second bedroom. You'll see me in a couple of years." She said with a sore throat.

* * *

At STAR Labs the team had met up again. Iris and Barry went back to the medical room but saw that Nora was gone. Perplexed, Barry speed around the entire building but had no sign of Nora.

"She left the building." He told Iris. "Where could she had gone?"

"Well she's still recovering, right?" Iris questioned.

Caitlin answered, "Probably not. The second she was out of the pipeline her body was catching up to heal her. With her speed she would had healed by now."

"She ran away." Ralph stated. He got looks. "What? I'm not even trying to make a joke. Back at your place maybe?"

Sherloque walked into the room and saw everyone's faced. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nora's gone, genius." Cisco remarked.

Sherloque shrugged as he looked back at the book in his hands. "Shame is strong useless emotion."

Cisco gave him an uncertain look. "Okay HR."

Sherloque threw his hands up in the air. "Again, who is this HR fella!? That's what Nora called me earlier!"

"A friend who died."

"Nora never met him?" Sherloque asked. They nodded. "Huh, she like him a lot." He held up a pink diary. "This is her personal diary."

Iris felt her eyebrow raise up. "And you thought it'd be a good idea to do that?"

"Already went through the Fake Wells diary stuff. Thought this give more," Sherloque said. He opened to the page his thumb held, a page near the front, and read from it. "_Dear Journal, I read another passage from a book Uncle HR Wells had written from his unpublished novels. This is from his chapter about inspiration quotes that he tends to tell those he loves about. One of them is: Shame is a strong useless emotion._" Sherloque made a face. "Cheese!"

"Nah, sounds like HR." Barry chuckled.

"_Shame is a strong useless emotion. We need to be true to our self. Too bad I'm ten and can't be true to self_." Sherloque continued. He flipped paged to the back and read another one. "This one mentions another thing said by that guy. _'As HR said about Eleanor Roosevelt, or Ellie Rose on his Earth, 'No person can judge you without you consenting.' I should follow, but it's too hard.'_" He made a face. "Cheese!"

"Again, sounds like HR." Iris smiled. "I guess we did open that box with his books and other important stuff at some point."

Sherloque flopped the notebook down and said, "No help in Fake Wells case."

"Like we need more." Cisco said. "We already figured it all out."

"Maybe she's a Jitters or West house." Caitlin suggested. "She's obsessed with coffee and Jenna."

"Yeah, let's head there."

As the Team began to walk out, Sherloque stayed slowly behind Cisco and in front of the future-to-be-parents. He paused and turned to them. "You should stay here in case she returns. Oh," He vaguely looked over at the diary. "Numbers that are the same number twice are my least favorite numbers."

He left. Barry and Iris figured that meant they should stay but the second part of information was odd. They looked at the diary that laid rested on the cortex table. "We shouldn't." Barry said. "But—"

"It could give us a mental idea where she's at in her mind." Iris finished. "This is for safety, right?"

"Right. Totally." Barry said as the two came to the diary. "And she's technically not born yet so as of now, in 2019, it's okay to check things that may or may not exist."

"Sure. As far as we know this could just be a fictional book."

"She loves HR!" Barry shouted with happy eyes. "Maybe, like, she's an author like him. Writes crime novels in her spare time but also writes...other stuff." Okay. That made no sense to him. "Could be fiction."

"Sherloque said 'Numbers that are the same number twice are my least favorite numbers' so...page eleven?"

Barry rapidly flipped to page eleven and skimmed it over. "No, this is about...Iris!"

"What!?"

"You killed McSnurtle and told Nora that he ran away." He exclaimed. "He's a turtle! He can't run!"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh my God, Barry!"

Barry skimmed to twenty-two. He read over it and figured out Nora was in grade seven at this point. He read quickly. "Iris...read this," He held it for her to read with him.

* * *

_Eleven year old Nora was at her locker changing from her Social Studies binders to her Math and Science binders, something she was more than excited to do. She didn't fail any of her classes she just preferred her math and science classes._

_She felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned and brown eyes made eye contact with a brown eye female with raven jet black curly hair. Larissa Maple-Young. They shared a Spanish class together. Larissa wasn't the brightest in the class but she had said she was unable to take French class since she already spoke it (her paternal grandmother refused to learn English). "Nora, I'm having a sleepover tomorrow night for my birthday. It's kind of last minute. You wanna come over?"_

_"Yes!" She said quickly._

_"Cool." Larissa smiled. "See you at seven."_

_Nora smiled at Larissa as the girl walked away. Though she smiled, she felt something strange in her. Kind of a (cliche) warm and comfortable feeling in herself. She had this feeling for a while now. Especially whenever she was talking with Larissa. The two met in third grade on a field trip to the Flash museum when they were paired as partners in their chaperoned group. Since then they've been almost inseparable. Always doing various of projects together. Whether it was Nora's science projects or Larissa's art projects, they always enjoyed one another's company._

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_Larissa's sleepover was fun. Some of the girls got sick from the pizza that her Dad made. The only reason vegan Larissa and I didn't get sick was because her Dad had already put meat on the pizza and I'm not fond on when her dad makes food in general. It always tate horrible.. So we just sat in her room and stayed up all night watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Science for me, musicals for Larissa._

_I can't help but feel strange around Larissa. It's hard to explain and figure out. It's kind of a warm and fuzzy feeling in me. The best way I could explain it as whenever she talks to me or even looks at me I feel happy. So happy. Whenever we hug one another, the feeling grows a fiery intense._

_I kind of want to...kiss her._

_I think...I like Larissa._

* * *

**_December 7._**

_Dear Diary,_

_Larissa is gone. She's been gone for two weeks now. I hate that her parents moved her out of state! Her Dad's company is making him move to New York for their company so the whole family has to move. It's not fair. This was all of a sudden and her mom isn't allowing Larissa to stay and finish out the school year here in Central City. Seriously!?_

_That's not even the worst of it. Lately, the girls at school has been horrible to me. They call me a freak and tell me I'm one. They make sly comments about how Larissa and I always hangout together. So what?_

_It's not like they know my secret._

_I miss her. I miss Larissa so much._

* * *

**_July 4th._**

_Nora finished getting ready for her friend Lyle's party. She doubled checked her outfit for the night; red sneakers, dark denim shorts, white crop top, white headband, blue hair tie to hold her braid and red bow at the bottom of her braid. Yep, a giant American flag._

_"Perfect." She smiled. She texted her friend Larissa, who was now back in the city. Her parents divorced and she and her mother moved back. Nora was so excited when she found out. She heard it in school and cheered with fellow friends. Larissa had to go to a family's birthday party tonight, but would come by later to meet up at the party._

_Nora arrived at Lyle's party. It was already overcrowded between their classmates and some of his older brother and sister's friends; brother from high school, sister from college. They were blasting music loudly while drinking alcoholic drinks. Someone random passed Nora a red solo cup filled with what smelled like diet coke and vodka. She chugged it in seconds._

_Nora entered the living room with her cup watching every dance. One of the older high school boys grabbed her and began dancing with her. Nora felt uncomfortable at first, but warmed up and danced back with the older boy._

_A few hours later Nora was on her seventh alcohol cup, her hair was become undone and still had the energy to dance. She wasn't drunk drunk, just a bit tipsy but still able to know what was happening and what she was doing and saying to people at the party (usually odd science comments). No more alcohol after this. She was still dancing with the same guy from earlier but he was about to blackout in any second. Nora guided him to the couch so that at least if he did blackout he'd be on something soft. Once he was on the couch mumbling about something Nora turned to go get water for the guy. Halfway into the kitchen Nora saw Lyle running up to her. "Nora, wanna play a game with my sister's friends?"_

_"Sure!" She smiled._

_He grabbed her hand and brought her to the other room where a bunch of the sister's friends, his brother's friends and their own middle school classmates were sitting in a circle. Truth or dare._

_The game started out fun and innocent. Questions such as first kisses, celebrity crushes (which made Nora cringe when a couple of them mentioned her aunt and uncle's her identities; Vibe, Frost and 'The Human Condom' aka Ralph), favorite teachers and least favorite teachers, favorite and least favorite classes. Dares such as kissing people, bras in freezers, prank phone calls, stealing someone's shirt or running around the neighborhood in underwear. But as the game continued, the questions and dares intense. Stuff that made Nora a bit uncomfortable doing. She didn't want to back out so she kept up with the truths and lied about her answers._

_Finally someone made her pick dare ("Nora, Dare or Dare?") which made her pick truth, but the group said it was dare no matter if she said truth because it was double the dame word. Nora felt her face turn hot red. Even more hot when Lyle dared her to go into the closet and stay in there. Nora stood and began walking in, but felt someone cover her eyes with a bandanna. Holy cow, seven minutes in heaven?_

_Nora stood in the closet waiting. Waiting. Maybe it was Lyle who'd come in? She hoped it was Lyle. But then again at parties like this anything was possible._

_She heard the door open and closed. "Nora?"_

_Larissa? "Larissa?"_

_"Yeah, it's me. They just told me to meet you in here."_

_Nora took the bandanna off and found herself in the dark completely. "I think this is that seven minutes in heaven game."_

_"Goodness, that old game?" Larissa laughed. "What is this? Our moms's sixth grade party?"_

_Nora giggled. "More like an early 2000's film."_

_"Late 90's at most." Larissa laughed. "So, what do we do? Just talk of course, but I think people are going to expect us to kiss or something."_

_"I heard that if you pinch your neck a certain way, it gives a hickey look. We could do that."_

_"Sounds good." Larissa said. More gentle in a softer tone she said, "Nora, can I tell you something? Promise not to tell anyone?"_

_"Sure. What is it?"_

_"I like you. Like, honestly, a ton." She had this admiration in her voice. "Ever since I moved out of state, I've liked you a ton. I never knew until after I was gone how much I liked you. I can't think about you without hating how much I'm not there. Those online photo post where you hangout with other girls, I get a burning sensation of hate. I know it's wrong to say a person is an object, but...I have this feeling of 'Nora is mine, she's mine and only mine.' always."_

_Nora felt her little heart rise. Larissa liked her back? She did!? "Oh, wow." She tried to play cool._

_"Look I know it's stupid and you don't feel the same, but I had to let you know. I can't resist you. During our sleepovers at my house, right before we moved, I know this is going to sound weird but...I stared at your breasts a lot. I wondered what they felt like to hold. Then I start imagining us kissing each other."_

Whoo, hot in here or what? _Nora thought. _This is so shway. So shawy!_ "Oh, wow, that's uh...a thing." She tried to play cool still._

_"God I know, I sound stupid."_

_"No, not stupid at all." Nora stated. "Truth is...I've kinda liked you too."_

_"Seriously?"_

_"Yeah. Since August at least. Whenever we talked and hugged, I got a butterfly in the tummy feeling. After you moved to New York I felt so lonely and upset that I couldn't be around you as much anymore." She bit her mouth. "I really liked hugging you. A ton lot."_

_"Nora, how much longer do you think we're in here?"_

_"I think we've been in here for three minutes at least. Why?"_

_The next thing Nora felt was lips connected to her own lips. Sweet and simple, but a hot fire danced on her lips. Nora had not expected this at all but those feelings in her stomach rose up faster than she could imagine and next thing she knew was she was cupping Larissa's face and pushing back to make the kiss more passionate. Without realizing it Nora's hands stopped cupping Larissa and slid down the girls neck, shoulders and down to her chest to feel Larissa's breasts._

_Her first kiss. With her best friend. The love of her life._

_In a second brightness entered the room and a girl shouted in panic. "NORA!"_

_Nora looked over in shock and saw a figure at the door. Her eyes adjusted to the light and she soon saw..._

_Larissa?_

_"Larissa?"_

_"MOLLY!" Larissa shouted and pointed a finger. "YOU FUCKING SUCK YOU FUCKING BITCH-ASS WHORE!"_

_Nora looked behind. Oh shit. This wasn't Larissa the whole it. It was Molly Noel. Larissa's popular cousin._

_Nora could hear clicks and obnoxious noises. She looked and saw various cell phones and flashing lights; photos snapped and videos recording._

_"Lesbo." Molly laughed. "I got it on tape too."_

_Nora panicked. "No, no. No. This was a game."_

_"You seriously thought I was Larissa, lesbo."_

_Everyone was laughing except Nora and Larissa—she looked so guilty and embarrassed. Nora pushed everyone out of the way and out of the laughing house crying._

* * *

_Nora dealt with bullying all throughout grade eight. Taunts and rumors spread about her. Then her family, mostly her mother._

_Nora stopped talking to Larissa. She knew Larissa had nothing to do with this, but being so close to her also felt being so far from her. She's related to that bitch Molly. It was Molly's idea the whole time. But Larissa made sure to stick by Nora the whole time as much as she could. She ignored the rumors about herself and Nora and told others to basically fuck off._

_Larissa was forced to move again. To Hawaii. She promised Nora that she would still defend her online._

* * *

_Nora sat alone in her room one night. She had had s horrible day today. Bullying online and in person, taunting, you name it. Her body hurt from the pain she had every single day since that party. She had no friends and she had nobody in her family to talk too. Aunt Jenna wasn't much help since she attended a different high school than the brother and she almost never used social media so she was out of the loop on the bullying._

_Nora was watching a tv movie. Thirteen. She hadn't seen it before but Evan Rachel Wood was one of her favorite singers. She was intrigued with this film and seeing how the two teenagers were spiraling out of control. She currently at the scene where Evie leaves Tracy to hangout with her guy. Boyfriend? Hookup? The pain on Tracy's face was an emotion Nora knew too well. Tracy had gone into the bathroom, opened the cabinet, rolled her sleeves up and pressed a sharp end into her skin._

_Nora paused the scene. She remembered learning about this in fourth grade. Not good. She was sure it didn't help that much. Maybe the cutter just thought it made them feel better. Part of their emotional release feeling._

_Test time._

_Nora went into her own bathroom and grabbed her own pair of sheers. She filled the sink with water and had a wash cloth on her. She slowly pressed the end of the sheers at her wrist. She breathed heavy. She poked, not hard, just to get a feel. She felt something. She poked a bit harder, not to break skin. Same feeling. She decided to push in harder and break skin._

_It hurt for a second. She watched blood drip into the sink and down her wrist. "Not bad." She said._

_Later that night Nora laid in her bed. She was overthinking about the bathroom event. She looked at her wrist where the small band-aid cut was. The pain was long gone but she was back in that moment. The second she put the pain in herself, all the pain she had before was gone. For a split second the whole world was gone and it was just Nora._

_Scientist don't test once. They never do. They repeat._

_Nora got out of bed and back to the bathroom. Sheers out, cloth out, sleeves up._

_She did it again. The same thing as before. The pain from the world was gone, it was just Nora._

_Two test? What kind of scientist is Nora?_

_Three. Odd number. But still not good._

_Five times._

_Same result._

* * *

_Over the next couple of weeks Nora deals with the harassing and bullying. She hold in the pain and keeps it bottled up. She goes home to do homework and then sit alone. She still texts Larissa from time to time but not much._

_At the end of the month she had an argument with her mother. Something about Nora skipping classes._

_So what? She was passing her classes assignments._

_Iris went to work. Nora sat in the house angry and pissed. She got a text from an unknown number. She opened it saw read it. Heard you a lesbo. Need a man to turn you STRAIGHT around? I'll give it to you. She deleted it and blocked the number. Jerk._

_Something clicked in her. Nora went to the bathroom and took sheers from the cabinet._

_She cut her wrist. This time, she drags it a bit down her skin. Small marks, but there._

_Intensity was beyond something she could explain. She felt better than before._

* * *

_Over the next couple of weeks, this routine of hers continued._

_Wrists. Arms. Inner thights. Stomach._

_Makeup helped to cover when she needed to wear shorts or short-sleeve shirts or skirts or dressed._

_Over the next couple of months, this routine of hers continued._

_She learned how to create her own makeup without having to spend so much money._

_Over the next couple of years, this routine of hers continued._

_From taunts directed at her to harassment towards her family, Nora pushed the pain into her skin with sheers._

_Words on her locker, notes passed to her with same words, they were painful._

_Nora learned of her speed powers. She ripped the chip out of her and saw that her cuts were healing rapidly. Odd._

_She created her own razor. Speedster edition._

* * *

Barry and Iris finished reading her diary entries. They read every post she wrote about her middle school life and high school life. The bullying she endured in person and online. The pain she felt when everyone made fun of her. The parents-to-be had hoped by Nora's time the LGBTQ bullying and harassment wouldn't exist anymore. Their daughter was (from what they had read) a member of the community and was part of the nightmare ridicule that unfortunately existed in both their time and Nora's time.

Their pain grew worse as they read how she had gotten into this cutting habit and how long she had done it.

Barry threw the diary across the room intensely. "DAMN IT!" He knocked a chair over.

"Barry!"

"Iris!" He shouted. "Look what I did! LOOK WHAT I DID!" He gestured to the diary. "I brought back that pain! I brought that pain back to her!"

Iris tried to soothe him. "Barry, you didn't know this would happen. We didn't know this about Nora."

"I get mad that she hid a secret from me, so I put her in the pipeline. I put our daughter in the pipeline and I brought her pain that's worse than my own." He shouted as water filled up. "Iris, I screwed up."

Iris was about to speak again when they heard footsteps walk in. They turned to find Nora. She seemed shocked to see them but they saw a smile on her face. "Hey guys," She greeted. "What's—" She noticed the knocked over chair in the corner. And something pink. A closer look. Her diary. The one she came back looking for when she got to the future and saw she didn't have it. From the looks of it it looks like it had been read. _Shit_. Nora looked back and saw the waterworks in both parents eyes.

"Nora." They both said.

Nora speeded out of there.

"NORA!" Iris shouted.

Barry was right behind Nora.

* * *

Nora ran as fast as she could to get away from Barry. She needed to run fast enough to make a breech or something and get away from him. She can't look at him anymore. Too much pain. Too much pain. She felt her heart breaking as the pain returned. Nora pushed as fast as her feel got her.

Barry kept his eyes on her. He wouldn't lose her no matter what. He noticed that she was slowing down a bit.

_I caused pain. I caused pain. I caused pain...I'm a freak. I'm messed up._ Nora's brain and heart shouted. She couldn't feel that she had slowed down.

In a flash Barry had grabbed Nora. They both stopped running and were rolling like a rolling pin. They were in the middle of the park. Nora cried hysterically like an older aged woman. Barry embraced her firmly and rocked her. "Shh, shh, Nora, sshh, it's okay." He mumbled. "It's okay."


	4. Talks

**Wow. Flash...Wow.**

**Danielle did a FANTASTIC job directing this episode. Cast and crew were the best. Flash Family love.**

* * *

At STAR Labs Caitlin had given Nora a does of medication that would ease her anxiety and panic attack. The medication worked quickly but also caused Nora to fall asleep on the bed. At least it gave her parents time to figure out what they were going to say to her when she woke up.

Barry sat in the corner of the room reading another entry of Nora's diary. She was a sophomore in high school, just about to start her summer in a week. She had written that the school year was over and she was purely happy to not see her classmates again for a three months, but unhappy that this left her to do nothing for three months without bumping int anyone from the school. She tried to hangout with Jenna but Jenna and her fiance had just become new parents themselves with their twins boys so Nora didn't bother them as much.

This entry she had written that Larissa was back in Central City visiting her father's side of the family; his second wife, stepchildren. Unfortunately her cousin, Molly, was staying with them as punishment while her parents went on a cruise in Alaska. Larissa rarely spoke to Molly since the party. Larissa invited Nora to hangout with her at the mall. Begging her to come out and hangout with her for a couple of hours. Nora agreed and went. The two caught up in person even though they had texted one another often and video chat too. Barry was interested and curious as to who R.D T.H.C was in the diary and why this boy made the two girls laugh hysterically. Even more so, why Nora called him R.D.T.H.C personally but together the girls called him T.H.C.

The entry had ended with Nora asking Larissa if she wanted to come over tomorrow night and watch a movie while her mother was out with her girl friends. Larissa accepted and said, _"Rocky Horror! Rocky Horror! Science for you, musicals for me!"_

* * *

Nora woke feeling a bit uneasy on her mind. She felt like she had just been whacked across the face. She felt her eyes adjust to everything in the room as the blurs continued to end. She could make out two adults in the room and knew exactly who they were. She tried to sit up as fast as she could but felt her mother's hands push her back down gently.

"Nora honey, hold on." She said.

"Nope. Nope. Nope. NOPE!" She tried to get up again and speed out. But she wasn't moving fast. She was going normal-fast. "What the—" She looked at her hand. Nothing happened.

"I asked Caitlin to put the chip back inside of you." Barry explained. "Just for the time being."

Nora felt her eyes widen in horror hearing that. First her mom now her DAD? Why? "Are you insane dad?" She cried out. "Why would you do that to me!?"

Barry sat next to her as he said, "Nora, we need to talk."

"No. We have nothing to talk about." She slowly stated as her voice cracked. "I. Fucked. Up. I. Am. Fucked. Up."

"You are not fucked up." Barry told her. "There is nothing wrong with you Nora."

Nora shook her head. "Timeline. Thawne. Me. Timeline. Thawne. Me. Timeline. Thawne. Me. Timeline. Thawne. Me. Timeline. Thawne. Me."

"Nora I understand, completely understand, why you wanted to come back and meet me. Believe me I do. And I'm pissed about Thawne but I'm not focusing on that now."

"Timeline! Thawne! Me!"

Iris held Nora's hand in her own gently. "Nora, there is nothing wrong with you at all. Those students you went to school with are the wrong ones."

Nora stared at her mom with tears in her eyes. "Not that. I'm over than. I've been over that for years now." She sighed. "I...I just haven't...In years." She began to breathe heavy. "I...I began working at CCPD and then I began training at XS and so I rarely had time to do anything. Then my girl—" She paused, realizing what she was going to say exactly. "My best friend...one of my best friends. She found out and she tried to help me but it just. It kinda worked but being back in that pipeline, it pulled me back into that closet at the party."

"I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry."

"Dad, no. You have nothing to be sorry about."

"Nora," Barry sighed. "When you were talking to Spencer at Jitters that one night, Mom was the one to tell me that Spencer was flirting with you. Mom also told me how you were right after talking with Spencer."

Nora nodded. "Yeah, I know. Mom went 'no no no no' to me."

"Not like that. I meant 'no' to liking Spencer because I didn't trust her thinking she was meta." Iris explained herself. "Nora, we will love anyone who loves and treats you with respect and kindness. Male, female, meta, non-meta—"

"Alien." Barry added.

Nora looked at him with a face. "Alien?"

"Yeah. Alien." He said, but she shrugged. "Supergirl." Shrug. "Kara?" Shrug. "Uh, never mind. Doesn't matter. Like mom said, we will love anyone who loves and treats you with respect and kindness. We love you sweet girl." He kissed the top of her head.

"Do you have anyone you can talk at home?" Iris asked. Nora shrugged. "Me maybe?" Again, a shrug. "Larissa?"

Nora's face turned hot red. "Shrap, you know about my girlfriend?" She questioned.

"From what we were able to read, we had a feeling Larissa was more than a friend." Iris smiled at her. "She seems sweet."

"She's totally shway. Lia always yelled at me to focus whenever Larissa came over to visit from work." She blushed more. "She doesn't know about my time traveling. She's over in Europe working on some stuff." Unbeknownst to herself Nora was scratching the side of the bed with her blue fingernail; almost as if she was scratching skin. Barry took note of this and slowly but quickly removed her hand from the bed and held it in his own. Nora made quick eye contact with him before looking away. "So, what now?"

"You just need to relax before anything else. Just sleep for a couple of more hours and we'll talk when you wake up." Iris kissed Nora's head. "I love you, Nora."

"I love you, my sweet Nora." Barry kissed her head too.

Nora fell asleep again. Iris and Barry watched her again for a little while before heading out themselves. Barry stopped and turned back to Nora.

He was pissed. Extremely pissed. She had lied to him, all of them, every day since she had gotten here. Even after learning what Thawne did to him and his mother, Nora still went to him. Like a sword stabbing him in his heart and every broken piece of it. He had very little trust in her now. He wants to send Nora back to her time.

But with her state of mind and how she had handled this stress in the course of two days, he can't. He can't bring himself to bring her back to her time and leave her. She still has very little relationship with her mom and he has no idea who or what Larissa will do when she and Nora meet up again. What if Nora went back to his habit of hers?

What if it turned into something else?

He can't send her back. Just yet.

He doesn't trust her any longer. Not much.

But can't send her back yet.

* * *

** So that's it for this story. I wished I could had brought Larissa into the past and meet Team Flash and you learn about her family connection. But maybe I could do another story if you're interested. I can mix it between this story and Flash tv.**

** Just an idea if you are interested.**


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